04 Sep Daily Message ~ Monday September 4, 2023
It’s Metaphysical Monday! Today’s post will be on navigating the loss of a loved one while on your spiritual journey.
I find it ironic that I wrote a Metaphysical Monday post on grief two weeks ago, only to find myself going through the loss of one of my closest friends only a week later. Since the original post was not about the loss of a loved one, I decided now would be the right time to address that topic.
One of the most important things I’ve learned as we continue along our evolutionary journey is to develop the skill of honouring both your spiritual self and your human self, as both are equally important during our time on the planet. This can become quite a balancing act, but one that is more and more necessary as we continue through our embodiment process. This is evolving beyond the old idea that the ego self must be completely eradicated into understanding that all parts of ourselves must be loved and honoured for their necessary and important roles in this phase of our evolution.
When my father passed away in 2011, because I knew with all my heart that the soul carries on and I would be able to continue my relationship with him, albeit in a different form, I tried to bypass my human grief that was very real and very raw. How could I grieve when I’d already felt him when he passed and he was so free and joyful to be released from a body that just wasn’t working anymore? By grieving wouldn’t I be incongruent to my spiritual beliefs and knowingness?
I soldiered on in a way that could have made me the poster child for spiritual bypassing, continuing to see clients, settling the estate, clearing out and selling his house, all while taking care of my daughter who was also mourning her loss, and doing it all on my own as a single mother.
I’m not trying to suggest I didn’t cry and mourn. I did. The big problem was I was making myself wrong for my feelings when I “knew better” and denying my very real human emotions that needed to be felt and processed and lovingly respected by me for me. Gabriel suggested in his kind and caring way that I must honour my human experience, too, and that was when I finally allowed myself to let the grief move through me and give myself the space I needed to process.
Gabriel also explained to me that we have energetic cords that are attached to those in our lives who are meant to play major roles for us. These are different than the cords that we try to cut after breakups and the like. These are permanent cords that are indelible and last the entirety of our incarnation. When someone we love passes, that cord dissipates, causing a profound energetic shift. We must literally learn how to live without that person’s energy being connected to our own. And that is what the mourning process does. The tears we let fall help us with that energetic shift, and come to a place of peace far faster than denying our emotions ever could.
Fast forward to 2023. I got the call that one of my dearest friends who had been a constant in my life and my daughter’s life for almost 30 years, had died suddenly. He was a wonderful soul who was quick to help out, was always there for us, had the most stabilizing, grounded energy, and a wicked sense of humour. He also gave the best hugs. The fact that I’ll never get another one of those hugs, or hear his voice, or see him again in the physical breaks my heart.
Pat’s beloved wife had passed within the past year. I am so happy to know they are reunited after just a short time apart. I’m excited Pat had what Neale Donald Walsch calls his Continuation Day and he has successfully completed all the things he came here to do. Those are things I know and feel. But I am also so, so sad and am learning how to process and live with this loss. I took some time off to take care of me this time.
I let the tears flow when they need to, and I let the happiness flow when I think of him and his wife being together. I rejoice their reunion and I mourn my separation from him. And guess what? I’ve learned I can do all of that and honour all aspects of a loss without denying any of it. Is that growth? I hope so.
So if you are faced with a loss, I hope you will remember that love doesn’t die. I hope you will remember that a loss is a profound energetic shift and that you will be tender and kind to yourself. Allowing yourself to mourn can be an expansion to your beliefs, not a denial of them. It is both a spiritual process and a human process and both are beautiful expressions of love.